How to Forgive Like Jesus: A Heart-Level Approach

In life, we often encounter two types of situations that test our hearts and responses.

Situation 1: Someone wrongs or hurts us. Instinctively, we judge them. Thoughts like “I would never do that” cloud our ability to empathize. Rather than understanding their intentions, we cling to our pain and expect them to feel the full weight of it.

Situation 2: We make a mistake—perhaps unknowingly—and end up hurting someone. When realization dawns, guilt follows. We hope the other person sees our sincerity and forgives us, understanding it wasn’t deliberate.

Although both situations mirror each other, we usually fail to connect the dots. When hurt, we rarely consider that the other person might be in the same position we once were—seeking grace, not judgment.

Therefore, instead of focusing on the pain others caused, we must remember the grace we received—or longed for—when we fell short. Jesus captures this profound truth in a parable found in Matthew 18:23–35.

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A Story of Great Mercy (Matthew 18:23–27)

Jesus likens the Kingdom of Heaven to a king who decides to settle accounts. One servant owes him 10,000 bags of gold—an enormous, unpayable debt. Faced with ruin, the servant begs for mercy.

Surprisingly, the king doesn’t just grant an extension. He forgives the debt entirely, showing undeserved kindness and wiping the slate clean.

This is how God responds to us. Although we cannot repay the debt of sin, His mercy covers us fully when we humbly seek it.

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A Different Response (Matthew 18:28–31)

Soon after, that same servant meets a fellow worker who owes him a small amount. Rather than extending the compassion he just received, he demands payment and refuses to forgive.

Unfortunately, we often act in the same way. Despite receiving God’s mercy, we struggle to reflect it. Instead of helping others grow, we hold their wrongs against them. While we expect understanding for our faults, we deny it to others.

However, God calls us to act differently. He urges us to correct in love and extend the same compassion we’ve experienced.

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A Costly Mistake (Matthew 18:32–35)

When the king hears of the servant’s unforgiving attitude, he responds with righteous anger. The mercy once shown is withdrawn, and the servant faces the consequences of his original debt.

Clearly, Jesus wants us to understand that unforgiveness comes with serious consequences. If we refuse to forgive others, we risk losing the forgiveness we once received. God expects us to show the same grace we have enjoyed.

Importantly, true forgiveness isn’t shallow. It must come from the heart. We must let go of the offense and stop defining people by their past mistakes.

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In Conclusion

Jesus echoes this teaching when He instructs His disciples to pray in Matthew 6:12, 14–15. Forgiveness flows both ways—we must not only seek it but also extend it.

To receive forgiveness, we must walk in forgiveness. Let’s choose mercy over judgment, compassion over resentment, and grace over grudges.

Only then will we truly live out the heart of God.